How to Act Around Your Ex

Break-ups rarely lead to what the name promises—a clean break. Much as you may wish to avoid it, there will be situations in which you have to be around your ex. It can be difficult to interact with someone you used to be close to, but there are ways to make it less painful.
1. Be patient.
You’re used to being emotionally and physically intimate with each other, so don’t expect to establish new relationship patterns right away.
  1. Don’t seek your ex out socially, especially at first. Experts recommend taking at least eight weeks without any sort of contact. Seeing your ex right after the breakup can make it more difficult to move on.

Seeing Your Ex Socially

2. Treat your ex as you would treat a colleague.

Be friendly and respectful without indicating too much closeness.

Keep your interactions light. Especially if you have not seen each other in a while, resist the urge to address long-simmering relationship issues

– Him: I did. They need new management.

– You: The relief pitcher looked pretty good. Maybe he should have started.

– Him: Yeah, I didn’t understand that decision.

– You: Well, good seeing you. Hopefully they make it to the post-season.

If your ex brings up a contentious issue, try changing the subject to something you agree on.

– Him: Hi, Melanie. Did you try the pierogies?

– You: I did. They remind me of the ones your mom always made.

– Him: How would you know? You never went to visit her.

– You: I think we both appreciated her cooking.

– Him: That’s true.

3. Avoid alcohol.

Emotions will already be riding high. If you’re drinking, you’ll be less inhibited and more likely to say something that you’ll regret.

4. Disengage from your ex online.

Unfriend him on Facebook and avoid him on other forms of social media. Yes, keeping tabs on an ex online is tempting—you want to know if he is miserable without you, if he has started dating someone new, etc. Research shows that it is better to avoid this temptation, though.

  – It’s easy for these behaviors to get obsessive, turning into what psychologists call “interpersonal electronic surveillance” and the rest of us call Facebook stalking.

– It’s also bad for your own emotional health. Like seeing your ex in person, interacting with him online can make the heartbreak last longer.

 – If you do insist on continuing to follow your ex on social media, remember that what you are seeing is a highly selective view of his life. Don’t think that you’re struggling more than he is just because he doesn’t post about it.

5. Tread cautiously when trying to be friends.

Many people want to stay friends after a breakup, which makes sense—you enjoyed being around your ex at one point, and he was a large part of your social life. Why shouldn’t you continue to act as you did before, going to baseball games together, calling him to vent about your boss, or asking for his jacket when you get cold? Plenty of reasons, it turns out.

– Maintain physical and emotional distance to avoid ambiguity. Behaviors like flirting and touching can cause confusion for both of you.

– Limit your interactions. You shouldn’t be checking in multiple times a day, or even once every day. It’s fine to be friends, but your ex should not be the person you turn to first with good or bad news.

 – You should not pursue a friendship with your ex as a guise for trying to get him back. If you want to rekindle the romance and he does not, you are better off cutting off contact entirely.

6. Don’t let your relationship affect special occasions.

With overlapping social circles, you and your ex will likely run into each other at special occasions including birthday parties, graduations, and weddings, probably for years to come. Be prepared for this inevitability. 

  1. Don’t ignore each other at big events, but don’t sit together, either. If you’re not on the best terms, you run the risk of making a scene. Plus, don’t want to have to answer questions all night long about whether you two are back together.
  2. Divide up smaller events. You can both go to your friend’s play, but you might not both want to go to the intimate dinner she’s having afterward. No one likes to miss out on fun events, but it can be preferable to the alternative of a huge confrontation.

7 Ways for Dads to Strengthen Their Relationship With Their Daughters

While fathers certainly love all their children, it sure seems that more dads spend a lot more time with their sons. Perhaps they think that they have more in common with their boys, or maybe they are a little intimidated by the girls.

The Benefits of Father-Daughter Relationships

But with a little more understanding, fathers can feel just as comfortable around their daughters as they do their sons.

It is certainly important for fathers to connect with their daughters. Family research suggests that daughters who have secure and loving relationships with their fathers:

  • Have better grades in school
  • Feel better about themselves
  • Are more assertive without being aggressive
  • Feel more confident in relationships with men in general
  • Are more likely to be admitted to graduate school and get a degree.

Having a daughter with those attitudes and directions is worth a lot to a father. But in addition to the lifelong positives of a good father-daughter relationship, nurturing that kind of relationship can be a real opportunity for a father in the here and now.

So what can a father do to create a loving and secure relationship with his daughter?

Start on Her Birthday

Fathers who best create this positive relationship start on the day she is born. Get involved in her life from the very outset. Take an active role in caring for this baby girl.

 The more time you spend with her earlier, the easier it will be to continue building the relationship later.

Teach Her New Things

While it is great when a dad teaches his daughter to ride a bike or to read or do chores, often the best things he can teach her are “guy things.” Skills like fixing a car, fishing, golfing, or home repairs will serve a girl just as well as a boy and will give her confidence that she can tackle anything.

Just being with her dad doing things he is good at will be a real treat for her.

Listen Lots

Many of our daughters love to talk and girls tend to vocalize more than the boys do growing up. What a dad can do to build his relationship with his daughter is to listen more. Pay attention to what she says when you are together. Listen to what she is thinking, dreaming and wishing in her life. And most of all, keep confidences. When she shares something with you that is private and bares her soul, don’t repeat the story. It is one sure way to hurt your relationship when you violate a trust.

Make Time For Fun

It’s important to make daddy/daughter dates. We suggest checking out the latest toys at the toy store or go out for an ice cream treat. Do things together that are fun and entertaining such as miniature golfing, hiking, swimming, going to library story time and going to plays. Building fun memories in a positive environment can make a big difference.

Tell Her She’s Beautiful

This will sound a little corny to some fathers, but it is important. Modern culture and the media often give our daughters messages that they need to be the right weight, wear the right makeup, dress stylishly and sometimes immodestly to be beautiful.

When you tell your daughter she is beautiful, emphasize the importance of being beautiful inside – more than skin-deep. Compliment her when her eyes sparkle or when she breaks into a big smile.

Write Notes and Letters

You may remember from your dating years that girls love cards and notes and letters. Take the time occasionally to write your daughter a letter expressing your feelings, letting her know how you feel about her and how proud you are of her. These little personal expressions mean and lot to our daughters and are a good way of showing love.

Be a Great Example of Manhood

The way your daughter sees you treat women makes a big difference in how she will see ​men later in her life. Be on your best behavior with her, her mother and other female friends and relatives. Simple courtesy and kindness will go a long way in helping her know what to expect of men in her later life.​

Making time and expending energy in building your relationship with your daughter will pay big dividends over time. Even though it may seem like more fun to spend time with the boys, there is still nothing quite like the relationship that can develop between a daughter and her daddy.

Ogoo

Ogochukwu Oye better known as Ogoo was born in a close-knit Nigerian family in Awka, Anambra State
in Nigeria. Her passion for music has always been there since her teenage years, and somehow crowns
her mom’s prediction that she would be a singer and dancer. Perhaps this explains why years after
practicing as a certified Barrister at law, Ogoo decided to pursue her first love and passion, music.
As Ogoo, whose music influences include Michael Jackson, Bruno Mars and Adele grew older, she found
herself loving music and music for her comes naturally. She grew musically by joining the choir at a
tender age.

The second track Onye Isi Oma is a beautiful classic love song depicting how lucky and grateful a girl is to have found her one true love. It is a beautifully crafted melodious and dance-able tune sung both in
English and Igbo that will surely keep you grooving all day.
Onye Isi Oma is available for purchase, download and streaming on iTunes, Apple Music, Deezer, Spotify,
YouTube and all other music streaming services.

Nonhlanhla Sindile Khundula.

Nonhlanhla "Nono"

* Radio host at UB FM LIVE

Young black intelligent Woman, who grew up in the township of Pienaar, in the dusty fields of Daanjie location.

Born in Kanyamazane clinic in 1989 October 30. A second born in a family of 6 with 3 siblings, the Rose among thorns. A Daughter to Phillip and Elizabeth Khundula.

She was raised and groomed in the streets an community of Pienaar, started school at Tiboneleni Primary School in 1997 and completed high school at Mayibuye High School in 2007 where she obtained great communication skills through debate an drama. Then furthered her studies at  computer schools.

Nonhlanhla also known as lady NONO is a bubbly singer, songwriter and performer, with a great sense of humor, A sales representative by profession.

Growing up in the township thought her to be strong and to be independent. In 2015_she joined the strong team of UB FMLIVE where she fell in love with  radio, there she learned more about working with the community  to bring change together with UB FM LIVE, by the power of peer education, and grooming the new generation via communication.

She host an amazing show called Maximum Fun which airs every Sunday from 10:00AM to 13:00PM, the show is vibrant, educational, motivational and fun, Nono’s show differs to others as it accommodates everyone, its uniqueness grows the youth into powerful individuals via its skills, catch her every Sunday from 10:AM to 13:00PM_and have fun fun fun.

“Things changed the moment I realised that I actually lost both my parents, it’s just me and my sister and I look around me, I see young people suffer, most of them they did not go to school due to lack of funds and some they ran away from home because of the abuse they face for not being raised by their parents. I told myself that that will not stand on my way to success; I wanted to be a testimony. And yes I am because now I am on a commercial online station (Ubuthebe FM Live), a station that talks to every young person who wants to make it in life and those who wants just to give up because of life they think it’s not fair to them, life yes it’s not fair to anyone but once you make a decision that you want to do it, you can and you will, you just have to make your dream a reality, this radio station has been able to change people’s lives for the better.

8 Ways Your Relationship Changes After Marriage

8 Ways Your Relationship Changes After Marriage

Some people will say that tying the knot doesn’t change a relationship, but because it bonds two people together forever there are some fundamental things that will inevitably shift for a duo. For better or worse, here are some of the ways marriage alters the world of newlyweds.

1. Intimacy changes

Sex gets better after you’re married. Why? It could be because you realize you’re in it to win it in the bedroom (for life) or, more likely, that the intimacy the bond brings makes you feel more comfortable and confident when snuggling. Barriers be gone!

2. Others look at you differently.

Though people won’t say they’ll view you differently after you’re married, they will and the do. All of sudden it feels like everyone has a vested interest in your relationship and your life together. Some newlyweds even say they feel like their bosses assume they’re more responsible because they’ve tied the knot.

3. You fight differently

When dating, partners may sweat the small stuff, like who to hang out with and what to do on the weekend. Once you’re married, though, you know you have plenty of time to catch up with friends or tackle a task. Arguments become about larger more complex issues that will affect your life together, like saving for retirement or where to live.

4. Time flies by

Think about when you first start dating someone – you end up being infatuated with them. You’re probably young and figuring yourself out, too. All of the ups and downs you go through and the amount of time you spend getting to know your new lover can feel like an eternity. Time almost stands still. Not so when you’re married. Once you’ve sealed the deal and are together forever, life seems to blow by. That could be because new obligations find you (like buying a house or raising children) or it could be that you never feel like you have enough time to spend with your partner.

5. You do more.

When you’re single your schedule is your schedule. When you’re married, you have two people’s schedules to accommodate. There are also the minor tasks of keeping up your house and paying bills. Post-wedding day it will feel as though responsibilities are piling on your plate, as are get-togethers and party invites from various guests. The key is to roll with it. Juggling so many hats can be fun!

6. You look at everyone differently.

Never before will spending a night on the couch seem so lovely as it does once you’re married. That’s not to say you won’t want to go out and party with friends, it’s just that there’s a new level of security and comfort that goes along with coupling permanently.

7. Savings are superior.

Though not always true, how you spend money will change after you get married. Instead of dropping your latest paycheck on something that matters just to you, you’ll end up asking yourself whether the money could be better spent on something to enjoy with your partner (like a trip abroad or a house in the city). Savings almost always trump spending.

8. How you work together.

Once you’re married you’re officially a team, which means you tend to have each other’s backs more than you used to. Everything you do is to the benefit of the other. You end up being more supportive of each person’s individual endeavours and goals.